beginings

time to start planning again. its been about 1 month of blank space now. well i did want some free time, but perhaps it should not spin out of control.

its time to start something new. what i really want is to work on project basis, where i only need to work on ONE exciting project. a project that needs me to do some extensive research, research that really means something.. research that brings some new insights to forefront. and then some eally exciting design work. don't know if i want to be in delhi for this or not.

need to start looking.

music

a few days ago i went for a small music concert...
they did all kinds of music, the singers were very obviously enjoying themselves. the beat was fun, and i strangely could not keep the tears out of my eyes. Instead of simpy enjoying a good concert, i felt left out. Something i had not let myself think about for so long, just lunged at me from the stage...

where has all the music in my life gone? if i dared to be honest, wouldn't i still love to sing... wouldn't i love to part of this group that was creating all of that...

ever since i lost my voice i just locked the whole world of music and stayed away from it... but what should i do? i miss it so much..

and since i have opened this crazy pandora's box.... out come the same old questions...there are so many things i want to do, so many things that i could become briliant at, if i gave it its due time... but why do i just never stick to ANY one of my fancies for long enough? its almost as if while i begin to become good at one thing, a crazy fear siezes me that i'm loosing out on everything else... i move on, and pick something else... and the cycle repeats...

is this the way it is always going to be?