Every now and then one encounters a person who's had an interesting life and more often than not, that translates to a difficult life. Yesterday I met such a person.
Lets call this lady Sethe. She was a woman in her late sixties, a large African American woman. She grew up in the south, in cotton fields. Finished high school and came to Illinois for college. She got married and had 7 children. The kids grew up, got married. Hard times hit late.
One of her daughters developed an ailment that slowly killed her. Her daughter's son had tried really hard to take care of his mother, and had convinced himself that if he did a sincere job of looking after her, she would get better. He'd sleep at the foot of her bed , and if at any time the mother felt pain or needed something, the boy would run and get it for her. When she finally did die, the boy went into shock, and never came out of it. Its been five years. Counseling and the passage of time have not seemed to have done their trick. After the mothers' death, Sethe took custody of all her grandchildren - seven children. The following year her husband died, and the year following that, she was diagnosed with cancer.
She said that she was sitting in the doctors office when she was told she had cancer. She said she was scared, very scared. More scared because she knew she had to be strong, there was too much depending on her LIVING. She said she walked out of the doctor's office feeling weak... and decided to sit for some time. as soon as she sat down she saw a very young boy around four years old, coming out of an open heart surgery... and she saw his mother crying, and she thought - this kid is so young and he is already seeing a darker shade of life, I'm sixty how could i possibly feel sorry for myself. She said she felt no fear after that. Slowly but sure she recovered.
So Sethe is a survivor in many ways. By survivor I don't mean just someone who came through alive. I mean a person who's spirit has survived. Sethe was one of the most energetic, funny and loving people I have met in a long time.
I began by talking about interesting lives. No, I don't believe that interesting lives have to be tinted with tragedy, some interesting lives are full of surprising and unpredictable upswings. The interesting-ness lies in the spontaneity and surprise in the trajectory... and the voice of the storyteller.
